For those who never had a baby or those who forgot what it’s like having one, or even for men, let me remind you of one thing: pregnancy is never easy. (This is unless you’re the pregnancy MVP and don’t feel a thing. In this case, please share your secrets!)
You can never really know what it’s like unless you’re pregnant. And yes, I know that sometimes, the people who make those insensitive pregnancy comments really do mean well. But other times, they’re just plain rude.
We need to be educated before forming an opinion.
Pregnancy is an emotional and sensitive time. If you’re pregnant, now is the most important time for you to take care of yourself and your happiness. A happy mom is a happy baby! The last thing we need right now is awful questions and comments. Not responding to hurtful remarks will make people think bad behavior is ok. It is not ok and will never be okay to shame us.
This may sound senseless to you, and if you think so, you are welcome to get off my page. What is senseless is us not giving credit to mothers and our own mothers who suffered, sacrificed for us, and gave birth to us. Let’s stop being ignorant and give pregnant women the respect they deserve.
Think before letting a remark slip out of your mouth. Be sensitive or just mind your own business.
Here are just some of the things I believe you shouldn’t say to anyone who’s expecting. If any of these thoughts pop into your head, it’s better for you to just keep quiet.
What not to say to pregnant women:
“No more sleep for you.”
You. Don’t. Have. To. Remind. Us.
“Oh, no you’re breaking out…”
Are you my dermatologist? Trust me, I know if I’m breaking out.
“My sister says she hated being pregnant.”
Some people love pregnancy, and some people hate it, but don’t make us defend our opinion.
“You gained weight!, Grabe ang laki mo na! Or… You look thin!”
Never even go there. Weight is not your concern. If my baby and I are happy and healthy, then that’s all that matters.
“You’re peeing again?”
Put a weighted basketball in your bladder and tell me if you can hold it in. 🙂
“You shouldn’t be eating/drinking that!”
Thanks, Dr. Stranger, but pregnant women are well aware of what they can and can’t eat. If you don’t trust them making wise decisions, keep it to yourself.
“Was it planned?” (probably the most annoying question, btw!)
It’s no one’s business whether or not you planned this pregnancy. In today’s culture, planned=wanted=blessing, unplanned=unwanted=burden. Geez. What should only matter to you is that they want that child and they are happy. That’s it. Ciao.
“How fast do you think you’ll lose the baby weight?”
No. Just no.
“I think you’re having a girl because your neck is not dark and your nose is not getting big.”
FYI, change in skin pigmentation and nose swelling are totally normal. But I blame the hormones; not the sex of my baby.
“I think you’re carrying a boy because you look different.”
“You’re breastfeeding, right?”
Not everyone breastfeeds, for lots of different reasons. And unless you’re the father or the mother of that child, your opinion doesn’t matter.
As for mothers and expecting moms, let’s all support and uplift each other during this beautiful and most often crazy journey. Helping each other without being condescending makes a huge difference. Giving each other insightful knowledge on how to make things easier for us or baby advice if you may so. Let’s try to always look at the bright side of things and always hope for the better.
And if you are someone who really wants to show your love and support for a pregnant friend or relative, try these less annoying things to say and watch her be much more relaxed around you.
What to say to pregnant women:
“I’m sure you’ll be a great mom.”
“Don’t worry too much. You’ll be fine.”
“When are you due?”
“How are you feeling?”
“Are you going to find out the sex of the baby?”